Her Lips

The following 100 word piece of flash fiction was written for the June 29, 2012 ‘Photo Prompt for 100-word Flash #FridayFictioneers’ posted by Madison Woods.  The entries are posted here.

Her Lips

They stand silently looking at the berries.  She does not want to break the trance by telling him how amazed she is at his unvoiced thoughts.  ‘How can Yappy be so quiet;’ her sudden laugh breaks the spell.  He looks at her, “What?”  She bites her lower lip, refusing to answer why the sudden laugh.  It was thinking about that contradictious  thought, ‘Yappy’ and ‘unvoiced,’ that triggered her laugh; it is his love for her that triggers her life.  He shakes his head, “Guess it’s store bought tonight.”  He’s right; these berries were not for her lips.  His lips are.

(Copyright, June 29, 2012, Steven S. Walsky, all rights reserved.)

The photo prompt:

Picture is copyrighted, Contact Madison Woods


24 thoughts on “Her Lips

  1. May I venture a little remark? There is a mixture of tenses at the end. If you are going to write “these berries were not for her lips”, it would be better to follow that with “His lips were.” On the other hand, if you want to keep the present tense for your last sentence, then it would be better to write “these berries are not for her lips” in the preceding sentence. Either solution would work very well, but the mixture of the two detracts from the beauty of this story. I was just going to click Like and go my way, but I thought that it would be a pity not to say something about it. It’s so easy to fix and I do Like the story. Mine’s on the list.

    • Thanks. I have to admit that I found it when I was checking to see if the word I had planned to use was actually a word…it wasn’t, and ‘contradictious’ seemed like a great oddity to use. And we are even, because I had never heard of salmon berries.

    • Appreciate your comment, thank you. I liked how ‘contradictious,’ was so ‘contradictive’ to the simplicity of the story (guess that was a pun, unintended).

  2. I enjoyed. The sentiment is there, the softness, the romance. Let me ask, are the unvoiced thoughts a comment on his nonverbal communication? Eyes? Breathing? Posture? Stance? In only 100 words it is a challenge to share those details and given that one phrase, unvoiced thoughts, I think you did a nice job provoking me to conjure the rest.

    • Thank you for the read and comment.

      I agree that 100 words is a challenge to share those details, but from the comments I have received, I feel good that the readers were influenced to ‘fill in the blanks.’ My intent was his physical projection took the place of the normal overpowering vocal, allowing the other side of his personality to shine. (And that explanation only took another 55 words.)

    • Thank you; and for some reason your comment did show up in the spam bucket. Glad I found your blog.

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