In continued celebration of the 100th birthday of the Oreo Cookie, here we have Dave giving Mandy the Oreo Cookie Pretentiousness Test, as described in my 1,000 word flash fiction piece Adventures in Dating: Mandy:
Five weeks into the relationship, while Mandy and I were on our way to a trendy café she liked, Mandy raved about the desserts the place offered. I asked if they had cheesecake. She was in shock, “Cheesecake has become so…so passé.”
She might as well have told me the moon is no longer in the sky just for lovers. So I gave her the ‘Oreo Cookie Pretentiousness Test.’
“Mandy, how do you eat an Oreo Cookie?”
“An Oreo Cookie? You mean the ones with the white stuff?”
“That’s the ones. How do you eat them? Do you pull the two sides apart and eat the cream filling first. Or maybe pop the entire cookie in your mouth all at once?”
“Stuffing the whole cookie in your mouth,” shudder.
“OK, so what technique do you use?”
“I don’t eat Oreo Cookies.”
“They’re…so…so childish. Adults do not eat them.”
“So you’re telling me, you never sit in front of the TV and eat Oreo Cookies?”
“Would you even consider sitting with me and dunking a few Oreos in milk?”
“This conversation is pointless. I stopped eating those things when I was a kid, and even then, I would never ‘dunk’ a cookie in milk!”
This is the basis for the ‘Oreo Cookie Pretentiousness Test.’ If she, or he, thinks dunking Oreo Cookies is childish, or does not have the desire to twist the two sides apart and savor the cream filling like it was gold, be forewarned! As for Mandy, I understood her problem. Dunking cookies endangered her jewelry, and most definitely her nails.
(Adventures in Dating: Mandy, is work of fiction, copyright 2010, Steven S. Walsky, all rights reserved, is adapted from Through A Stranger’s Eyes, copyright 2005, Steven S. Walsky, all rights reserved.)