The ‘sparks’ of life that can ignite one’s writing mind.
Items men over 55 dislike:
The bathroom scale: Regardless of how decorative and modern these interments of self-loathing are, they still add nothing more than displaying the incorrect, mind you, numerical equivalent of what one has already said to their reflection in the bathroom mirror.
Bendable straws: In an adult setting, i.e., listening to a live country band, male adults do not look cute using these sippy cup cousins, especially the neon bright ones; besides, bendable straws have a propensity to hit your chin.
Nutritional information on bags of potato chips: Not only is it an exercise in ‘who cares, I’m eating potato chips’, who wants to read on the small size bag that it contains two servings…besides, everyone knows one serving is more than what a small bag can hold.
Shoelaces: Shoe laces are evil! Sure they’re easy to tie…that’s part of their game plan. Notice how they always come untied or knotted at the most inopportune moment. And if you need to replace them, why do stores always locate them at the inside end of an aisle between the women’s and children’s shoe sections; just where a single male shopper looks questionable if he lingers for more than a few seconds.
Polite salespeople who ask loudly if you want the senior discount. And add any young salesperson who says, “If you were my father I would recommend….”
Vehicles that no longer have a dashboard battery voltage gauge. A man needs his gauges.
Youngens who say reality TV is real: It’s bad enough reading about how Social Security may not pay for your retirement, you have to see this representation of ‘true to life, fellow citizens’ who are supposedly keeping this country moving forward. How many of them are actually paying social security tax?
Football teams that have changed cities: Same name, but is it the same team without your home town memories.
Crossword puzzles: The questions are about people you are too young to remember; too old to admit you do remember them; or, the answer is a current celebrity you are too old to have any idea who, what, when, where, or why he/she exists.
And for the women readers:
A 55-year-old guy watching a re-run of any TV show he thought was funny ten or more years ago: Guys, she did not like the show back then, ten years has only added to the show’s maturity deficit, and she will cringe every time you laugh (that is, if she has not already left the room weeping).