After reading my November 11, 2013 humor post Paronomasia on puns, someone suggested that you could write an entire story just using puns…hummmmm? Not one to pass up an interesting suggestion, here goes.
No Pun Intended
Dan’s initial decision to become a pilot was up in the air. Nevertheless, Dan is very proud to be an airline pilot and, as he will tell people, during his test flight he flew through a rainbow and passed with flying colors. Most of all, Dan remembers the foremost thing his training instructor told him, “To become a pilot requires a good altitude.”
As an airline pilot Dan makes many friends in high places. For example, one day flying to Orlando, Florida, Dan was summoned to the passenger cabin and a sobbing woman told him, “The airlines have become so cash-poor, they charged me for my emotional baggage.” Simile told Dan that she was an astronaut at Cape Canaveral and had been dating a fellow astronaut; they put an end to it because they both needed their space. When Dan suggested to the Cabin Attendant that maybe some food would help the young lady, the crew member replied, “Don’t expect to eat something fancy when you’re flying, because it’s plane food.” Simile laughed, “What a day, I could not even remember how to fasten my seatbelt; then it clicked.”
A week or so later someone asked Dan how his date with Simile went, he replied, “It wasn’t serious, I just metaphor coffee.”
(No Pun Intended, copyright Steven S. Walsky, January 2014.)