Tom the Yarborough
The card game was not going well for Tom ‘the Yarborough’. Even though his friends were being pauciloquent, Tom knew their lamprophony was a sign of mocking. And derision was the last thing Tom wanted to be thought of as his agastopia for Jill’s hands blazed. She held her cards in such a way that it baldachinized those hands. And that non-geist thought by quockerwodger politician Tom was a non-starter for a relationship with Jill. His ultracrepidarian friend Barry leaned over and said, “Wake up and smell the cards!” However, Tom was far too yonderly to listen. Finally, Jill leaned over and stroked Tom’s face, “A nice…Large…diamond ring would make the word love quindecasyllabic.” Zoanthropbic Tom left the table, the house, and was erinaceous in his car for at least an hour.
(Tom the Yarborough, © Steven S. Walsky, January 2017.)
The odd words:
Agastopia: n. – admiration of a particular part of someone’s body
Baldachin: n. – rich embroidered silk and gold fabric
Derision: n. – a: the use of ridicule or scorn to show contempt; b: a state of being laughed at, ridiculed, being derided; : an object of ridicule or scorn
Erinaceous: adj. – like or relating to the hedgehog
Geist: adj, – spirit; intellectual inclination
Lamprophony: n. – loudness and clarity of enunciation
Pauciloquent: adj. – uttering few words; brief in speech
Quockerwodger: n. – nineteenth-century word for a wooden toy figure which jerks its limbs about when pulled by a string, a political insult
Quindecasyllabic: adj. – having fifteen syllables
Ultracrepidarian: n. – a person who gives opinions and advice on matters outside of one’s knowledge.
Yarborough: n. – hand of cards containing no card above a nine
Yonderly: adj/adv – Mentally or emotionally distant; absent-minded.
Zoanthropy: n. – delusion of a person who believes himself changed into an animal