Fred’s Food Odyssey (Humor Flash Fiction)

Looking at the Diner menu, hamburger and fries lover Fred was dismayed.  Because of the recent food concerns voiced by his doctor, Fred wanted to order healthy.  They were at the In Tune Diner on the town’s Music Row, and to Fred’s disbelief, In Tune was out of tuna.  “Well,” he said to Nancy, “I guess it’s all ova now.”  “Not I,” replied Nancy, “I’m ordering a reuben.”

When the food they ordered arrived, the two looked at the other’s plate.  “That is one large omelet,” said Nancy.  “Oomph,” was Fred’s answer.  “Yessiree,” laughed Nancy, “some people do like to whine and dine!”  Looking at her reuben, “Aaaah,” said Fred with a wink, “toss some over here so moi can star in Catcher in the Rye!”

Fred’s current food odyssey was brought about by years of overindulgence on the wrong kinds of food, and a palate spelt ‘pallet’.  Nevertheless, he still enjoyed Nancy’s food exploration moments.  Like the other day when she was hot for a hotdog.  She could hardly wait for the waiter to bring it.  In anticipation, she mustered the mustard and the special cafe relish she so relished.  Finally, the dog arrived, and it was all she could do not to wolf it down.

Their friendship was far more than ‘good taste’ buds; and Fred liked to point that out.  Once he mentioned that being an undertaker implied true friendship, because he will be the last one to let her down.  For her part, Nancy did like to do things with Fred…except playing cards; because Fred only had half a deck.

(Fred’s Food Odyssey, Steven S. Walsky, April 2017.)


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