Moldy Cheese (Homophone Flash Fiction)

Ted was in a rush to find an eyrie because today, October 9th, was going to be an eerie day at work. Being at a restaurant on National Moldy Cheese Day could wreak havoc with the customers who were not accustomed to the reek of moldy cheese. Even though the moldy cheese was just on display, the pale green cheese in the display pail invoked lots of ‘dangs’. It was tough to get the customers to accept the tuff looking blob.

Thus, Ted had spent a week trying to think up nice responses to the customers ‘what!’ comments; but all of his ideas were far too weak. He remembered being a child on a brae in Scotland, where even the goats would bray when they saw moldy cheese in their feed trough. Not wanting to sound like an omen prophet, he was not going to tell the owner about possible lost profit. Sure, celebrating this holiday was something new at the restaurant, but everyone knew the dangers.

He was right; on October 9th, the moldy cheese smell in the dining room brought forth lots of rheum! One did not have to canvass the customer reaction, as too many openly said that they wanted to cover the moldy cheese with canvas. Thankfully, a few hours later there was a rap on the kitchen door, and the manager said National Moldy Cheese Day was a wrap! Ted wondered who gave the manager the cue that customer kyu was leading to the queue for the door.
(Moldy Cheese, © Steven S. Walsky, October 2018.)

October 9th is National Moldy Cheese Day!


Fortune Cookie Fortunes (homophone flash fiction)

It was September 29th, and while looking out the top storey window Joan felt eating some fortune cookies was somehow apropos to writing their snack time story. Friendship wise, it’s not like she would win a medal if she did meddle. Nevertheless, it was Confucius Day, and philosophically, one does not earn an award if they leave philosophy in an urn. Or in a gallipot filled with galipot.

Tom, on the other hand, while recognizing one of the world’s greatest philosophers, was not whirled away by fortune cookies. His fate was based on far more than a fortune cookie fête. Tom told Joan that her waistline would not profit from fortune cookies for the prophet. To which Joan replied, “He who jump off cliff, jump to conclusion! So, let’s not waste a chance to read our fortunes thinking about your waste.”

Thus, off the locale eatery they went; with Tom promising to mask his concerns and not start a masque. He even opened one first and read his fortune, “Shop at store next door, so don’t be bare in the woods like a bear.” “Not very discreet,” replied Joan, “I guess that shop is not discrete from this one.”

Ten fortune cookies later, they decided to leave for home, and Joan sighed not knowing if Tom actually had taken her side of the waistline discussion. Nevertheless, Tom had liked the fortune cookies and, as they passed the clothing shop, he told her not to worry, because per a fortune cookie, she had the genes to wear tight jeans. Joan laughed and said “Happy Confucius Day…and you could be rote if you only wrote nice fortune cookie statements.”

(Fortune Cookie Fortunes, Steven S. Walsky, © September 2018.)

Confucius Day is always September 29th.

Cheeseburgers, Yum! (Homophone Flash Fiction)

After reading the ad, Harry knew this was something to add to their calendar. Hopefully, the special of the day would still be available when they ate at eight. Great cheap cheeseburgers, for National Cheeseburger Day, was something to cheep about. As Jill liked to say, “Being a money saver was not an excuse to not savor good food.” This would be the fourth year they would scramble forth to celebrate the holiday.

Thus, when they arrived at the café, the two were determined not to waste a good food special to overly care about one’s waist. Of course it was always a feat to eat the three feet, end to end, side of fries. Nor have any guilt drooling over those glowing gilt fries.

Unfortunately, just as they were almost finished with their meal, they were interrupted when Harry’s phone chimed ‘mail.’ It was his mom, “Harry dear, can you be here right away, because a deer is eating my hammock!” How do you respond when this was not the night to be a Knight in armor?

Harry said to Jill, that he had no clue why a deer would be eating the clew. Jill, having just finished eating her sandwich roll responded, “The role of a son is not to question his mom. And, Harry, who knows what deer do when the sun goes down! So don’t be coarse and take the right course.”

Harry sent a ‘ be there’ response text, to which his mother replied, “Spend a cent and bring me a cheeseburger, cause I can smell the scent of it via the phone!” Harry laughed, knowing full well that she had played him for the fool.

So, with tummies full and a takeout bag in hand, any cares were thrown to the wind as they went to his mom’s throne.
(Cheeseburgers, Yum!, © Steven S. Walsky, September 2018.)

National Cheeseburger Day is always September 18th.