On a Pedistal Table (flash fiction humor from 2015)

Few would disagree that going into the house was a test of raw stupidity; nor, would they argue that exiting alive would be anything less than a miracle. Then, what’s a little murder among friends at midnight. Besides, the mud colored sky only added to the allure of adventure. Thus, with mask affixed, he steeped over the threshold, through the open doorway, to be greeted by the sensuous aroma of chocolate and malt. A bowlful of Maltesers sat calling on a pedestal table to the right of the door. As he reached for a handful, she shot him; twice. The Director called “CUT!” Odd, thought the Director, this simple scene had already used six takes and two bowls of Maltesers; ‘when will they stick to the script and stop eating the candy!’
(On a Pedestal Table, © Steven S. Walsky, March 2015.)

This 132 word short story was posted in response to Esther Newton’s Weekly Writing Challenge for March 5th, 2015; to use the five highlighted words in a poem or story. https://esthernewtonblog.wordpress.com/ Please visit her blog for great writing tips, humor, and market information.

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International Monkey Day (Homophone/Rhyme Story)

“Kate, in celebration of International Monkey Day, on December 14th, let’s compose a short story to give us writers ideas to monkey around with,” said Sam, as he looked out the tenth storey window.

“How funky,” replied Kate, “a tale about a tree swinging tail.”

Sam started off with, “Once there was plunky, chunky monkey, arms raised above his head…not scared of any guerilla gorilla was he. Nope, this spunky fellow was no flunky. While others messed up their furs in the furze, his days of play were a daze.”

“I bet he was clunky,” said Kate. “No giros will be issued for his banana purchases…but, maybe he only eats gyros,” she laughed.

“Let’s be serious Kate. He only eats lox, so as to not mess up his locks. And he’s no flunkey, this spunkie monkey!”

Their conversation went on for some thirty minutes. Finally, Sam said that they had explored the idea long enough, “We’d best weed out any bad thoughts, before this conversation becomes word gunky.”

Kate agreed, “Any more would augur poor judgement like an auger on wood.”

And so, to keep the monkey conversation from getting skunky, they avoided letting it wane by boarding Kates wain, and they rolled off into the sunset.

(International Monkey Day, by Steven S. Walsky, December 2017.)

Hope you have a fun International Monkey Day…far too many people overlook this holiday because, as Sam said, they’re too busy monkeying around  🙂

The Whorl Around Her Heart (homophone flash fiction)

Sometimes fate can predict an uplifting fête in sync with your life. Other times you just sink; just like swanky jeans that contradict your parent’s genes.  However, remembering that no amount of loot can replace a lute melody, ‘Prophet’ Fred looked around the café and thought how monetary profit was secondary to life.  His favorite saying is “You can aweigh your work anchor, but never really be away from responsibility.”  Thus, the sight of Jane walking into packed café, suddenly reminded him that he had made a pact to help her find her bracelet; or be ‘fined’!

“Hi Jane,” said Fred, “I’ve looked high and low.”

“Lo and behold,” responded Jane, “it’s mister ‘wile’.  I bet that rheum under your eyes is from searching the room while I was gone.”  She sat next to Fred and asked him if his wave of smiles excused his waive of assistance.

“Jane, you may have given me a thank you for giving you a tour of the tor of St. Luke Mountain; but your comment just tore my heart.”

“Oh Fred; such purl to sway the pearl of my heart.”

After they had a coffee, Fred reminded Jane that you may press emotions like paper through a calender, but each day they were together was a day in the calendar of love.
Fred’s words resolved the pique before it could peak, and he said that they should peek around the café one more time; then go to her house to see if her pet peke had eaten it.
Jane replied to the whorl around her heart that they should give it a whirl.

As they were just about to go through the door, the café manager stopped them.  “Are you looking for this,” as he held out the bracelet, “one of our staff found it.”

As Jane took the bracelet, Fred knew this had been a close call, as he had almost failed her cloze test in their conversation.

(The Whorl Around Her Heart, is fiction, © Steven S. Walsky, November 2017.)