Eating at a fine restaurant was Joe’s idea of an outstanding first, and blind, date. However, after only a few minutes, Susan knew this was mere barmecide. The way he gulped down the food was not the definition of degust. Also, and to the others in the restaurant, bibble Joe’s xertz behavior was totally negative. Thankfully, Susan exercised her pauciloquent social skills, and that precluded a pother.
Nevertheless, the manager came to their table and asked Joe to slow down his ingurgitate behavior. To this Joe replied that maybe the manager wanted to impignorate a chance at romance, but not he. Joe smiled, thinking his comment was argute. Susan just figured Joe was vagarious, and any vocal judgement on her part would cancel his paying for the check. It was not that she had kakorrhaphiophobia; this was the omphalos for the date and Susan was not one to absquatulate. Later that night, Susan’s friend Jane would say she was just agastopia over Joe’s mussled arms and a possible other body part.
Finaly the dinner was over and Joe asked for a box for the tittynope salmon. Using his request as an excuse to leave the table for the facilities, Susan was able to remain non- cacoethes. However, once she returned, Susan said that her brother had called about not feeling well, and she would be taking a taxi to his apartment.
Of course, Joe knew this was the exequies for the date. Nevertheless, Joe did enjoy his meal and had the leftover salmon from her plate…and plenty more phone numbers from the dating site.
(The Exequies Date, © Steven S. Walsky, June 2018.)
absquatulate: v. – leave abruptly
agastopia: n. – admiration of a particular part of someone’s body
argute: av. – shrewd
bibble: v. – to drink often; to eat and/or drink noisily
barmecide: av. – providing only the illusion of abundance
cacoethes: n. – an urge to do something inadvisable
degust: v. – to taste food or drink carefully, so as to fully appreciate it fully
exequies: n. -funeral rites
impignorate: v. – to pawn or mortgage something
ingurgitate: v.- to swallow something greedily
kakorrhaphiophobia: n. – fear of failure
omphalos: n. – the center or hub of something
pauciloquent: adj. – uttering few words; brief in speech
pother: n. – a commotion or fuss
tittynope: n. – a small quantity of something left over
vagarious: ad. -erratic and unpredictable in behavior or direction
xertz: v. – to gulp down quickly and greedily