The Exequies Date (Odd Word Flash Fiction)

Eating at a fine restaurant was Joe’s idea of an outstanding first, and blind, date. However, after only a few minutes, Susan knew this was mere barmecide. The way he gulped down the food was not the definition of degust. Also, and to the others in the restaurant, bibble Joe’s xertz behavior was totally negative. Thankfully, Susan exercised her pauciloquent social skills, and that precluded a pother.

Nevertheless, the manager came to their table and asked Joe to slow down his ingurgitate behavior. To this Joe replied that maybe the manager wanted to impignorate a chance at romance, but not he. Joe smiled, thinking his comment was argute. Susan just figured Joe was vagarious, and any vocal judgement on her part would cancel his paying for the check. It was not that she had kakorrhaphiophobia; this was the omphalos for the date and Susan was not one to absquatulate. Later that night, Susan’s friend Jane would say she was just agastopia over Joe’s mussled arms and a possible other body part.

Finaly the dinner was over and Joe asked for a box for the tittynope salmon. Using his request as an excuse to leave the table for the facilities, Susan was able to remain non- cacoethes. However, once she returned, Susan said that her brother had called about not feeling well, and she would be taking a taxi to his apartment.

Of course, Joe knew this was the exequies for the date. Nevertheless, Joe did enjoy his meal and had the leftover salmon from her plate…and plenty more phone numbers from the dating site.
(The Exequies Date, © Steven S. Walsky, June 2018.)

Odd Words
absquatulate: v. – leave abruptly
agastopia: n. – admiration of a particular part of someone’s body
argute: av. – shrewd
bibble: v. – to drink often; to eat and/or drink noisily
barmecide: av. – providing only the illusion of abundance
cacoethes: n. – an urge to do something inadvisable
degust: v. – to taste food or drink carefully, so as to fully appreciate it fully
exequies: n. -funeral rites
impignorate: v. – to pawn or mortgage something
ingurgitate: v.- to swallow something greedily
kakorrhaphiophobia: n. – fear of failure
omphalos: n. – the center or hub of something
pauciloquent: adj. – uttering few words; brief in speech
pother: n. – a commotion or fuss
tittynope: n. – a small quantity of something left over
vagarious: ad. -erratic and unpredictable in behavior or direction
xertz: v. – to gulp down quickly and greedily

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Building Blocks (Food)

Think about food names that express what the character is feeling about the person he/she is talking to or about.

Jerk Chicken: Mary thought for just a few seconds, “If I went out with you Tom for dinner, what would we have…Jerk Chicken?”

Whoopie Pie: Tom responded to Mary’s food comment by suggesting whoopee pie for desert.

Deviled Egg: “She eat deviled eggs for breakfast?”

Stink Bugs: When their tennis match was over, Fred suggested stink bugs for lunch.

Southern Fried Rattlesnake: Bill commented that banker Don probably liked to feast on southern fried rattlesnake.

Head Cheese: “I bet the boss eats head cheese in front of a mirror.”

Trifle: “Let’s have trifle for dessert and talk about your suggestion.”

Think about your ‘building blocks’; we can not write without them.

Building Blocks (anniversaries)

Think about ‘anniversaries’ in your life that are brought to mind due to newspapers or television. Your characters can benefit from these ‘mind sparks’ that influence their momentary behaviors and attitudes. For example, TV ads for Pizza Hut announce that they will turn 60 on May 31st; but the first Pizza Hut restaurant east of the Mississippi River opened in Athens, Ohio in 1966. I thought about how in 1955 for a great pizza we and our neighbors had to drive 14 miles round trip to Chiapparelli’s in Baltimore’s Little Italy. Opened as a pizza place in the early 1940s, Chipparelli’s would become a full Italian restaurant.

Here are some possible 2018 anniversary ‘mind sparkers’:

January 13th: The 50th anniversary of Johnny Cash performing at Folsom Prison. The performance was recorded and released in May 1968 under the album title At Folsom Prison.

March 24th: 60th anniversary of Elvis being inducted into US Army.

June 9th: The 25th anniversary of the release of the movie Jurassic Park at the Uptown Theater in Washington D.C. The national release in the United States was two days later on June 11th.

July 13th: The 81st anniversary of Krispy Kreme Doughnuts.

July 28th: The 40th anniversary of the release of the movie National Lampoon’s Animal House.

September 14th: The 40th anniversary of the airing of the TV show Mork & Mindy.

October 11th: The 86th anniversary of Krystal, the American fast food restaurant chain being founded in Chattanooga, Tennessee.

Think about your ‘building blocks’; we can not write without them.