Patty’s aeipathy for cheesecake was a bajulate of mind and body. The cloakative face she presented to others was but a drollic sign of how cheesecake controlled her. Sadly, her essomenic waistline exposed the sham. Even her friends knew she was a farceur. Soon they started to think of her as the cheesecake gutturniform lady. Thus, she had become one hadeharia.
On Wednesday, while measuring the interfenestration in the living room, she had problems due to excessive jectigation. She knew it was her out of control appetite calling keleusmatically to her. The cheesecake had become the lardlet of body language; and at that moment cheesecake was spelt ‘misqueme‘. Patty instantly became novaturient. No longer would she obambulate menus. Food was not a passiuncle. Patty wanted to be a quaintrelle; and too much cheesecake was riviationing for problems.
When Patty informed her friends about her decision, Ned said “be careful, the cheesecake foundation is a snobographer.” Patty responded, “Menus are tortiloquy.” With an upgaze, Patty silently contemplated the oncoming emotional vacivity. Witzelsucht Ned responded, “remember, even the xenization astronaut trainee gets to take a turn as a whirled traveler.” “Dah,” said Patty. “Should I laugh or yawp?”
From that day forward, Patty was her own menu zygostatical.
(Patty’s Aeipathy, © Steven S. Walsky, May 2017.)
Aeipathy: n; continued passion; an unyielding disease.
Bajulate: v; to bear a heavy burden.
Cloakatively: adv; superficially.
Drollic: adj; of or pertaining to puppet shows.
Essomenic: adj; showing things as they will be in the future.
Farceur: n; a writer or actor of farce.
Gutturniform: adj; shaped like a water pitcher.
Hadeharia: n; v; constant use of the word “hell”.
Interfenestration: n; width of pier between two windows.
Jectigation: n; a movement that is like wagging or trembling.
Keleusmatically: adv; imperatively; in an imperative mood.
Lardlet: n; small piece of bacon to put into meat to enrich with fat.
Misqueme: v; to displease; to offend.
Novaturient: adj; desiring changes or alterations.
Obambukate: v; to walk about, wander.
Passiuncle: n; a petty or contemptible passion.
Quaintrelle: n; a well-dressed woman.
Riviation: n; v; fishing.
Snobographer: n; one who describes or writes about snobs.
Tortiloquy: n; crooked speech.
Upgaze: v; to gaze upwards.
Vacivity: n; emptiness.
Witzelsucht: n; excessive facetiousness and inappropriate or pointless humor especially when considered as part of an abnormal condition.
Xenization: n; fact of travelling as a stranger.
Yawp: v; to utter a loud, harsh cry; to yelp, squawk, or bawl. Slang, to talk noisily and foolishly or complainingly.
Zygostatical: adj; pertaining to a market official in charge of weights.
Looking at the Diner menu, hamburger and fries lover Fred was dismayed. Because of the recent food concerns voiced by his doctor, Fred wanted to order healthy. They were at the In Tune Diner on the town’s Music Row, and to Fred’s disbelief, In Tune was out of tuna. “Well,” he said to Nancy, “I guess it’s all ova now.” “Not I,” replied Nancy, “I’m ordering a reuben.”
When the food they ordered arrived, the two looked at the other’s plate. “That is one large omelet,” said Nancy. “Oomph,” was Fred’s answer. “Yessiree,” laughed Nancy, “some people do like to whine and dine!” Looking at her reuben, “Aaaah,” said Fred with a wink, “toss some over here so moi can star in Catcher in the Rye!”
Fred’s current food odyssey was brought about by years of overindulgence on the wrong kinds of food, and a palate spelt ‘pallet’. Nevertheless, he still enjoyed Nancy’s food exploration moments. Like the other day when she was hot for a hotdog. She could hardly wait for the waiter to bring it. In anticipation, she mustered the mustard and the special cafe relish she so relished. Finally, the dog arrived, and it was all she could do not to wolf it down.
Their friendship was far more than ‘good taste’ buds; and Fred liked to point that out. Once he mentioned that being an undertaker implied true friendship, because he will be the last one to let her down. For her part, Nancy did like to do things with Fred…except playing cards; because Fred only had half a deck.
(Fred’s Food Odyssey, Steven S. Walsky, April 2017.)