The Oreo Cookie Pretentiousness Test

I thought about re-posting this as I was eating an Oreo cookie (okay four).

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Dave: “I also learned people can try to hide their true personalities, but the oddest things give them away. So it was with the Oreo Cookie Pretentiousness Test. I had once made a comment to Donna concerning the pretentiousness of Mandy; one of many such comments. Anyway, one day while Mandy and I were on our way to eat lunch at a trendy café she liked in the older section of the city, Mandy raved about the desserts the place offered. I asked if they had cheesecake, and Mandy replied: ‘Cheesecake has become so…so passé Dave; no one who is anyone orders cheesecake.’ She might as well tell me the moon is no longer in the sky just for lovers.”

“Mandy, how do you eat an Oreo cookie?”

“An Oreo cookie? You mean the ones with the white stuff?”

“That’s the ones; how do you eat them? Do you pull the two sides apart and eat the cream filling first. Or do you just bite into the cookie. Or maybe pop the entire cookie in your mouth all at once?”

“That’s sick!”

“What’s sick?”

“Stuffing the whole cookie in your mouth.”

“OK, so what technique do you use?”

“I don’t eat Oreo cookies.”

“Why not?”

“They’re…so…so childish. Adults do not eat them.”

“So you’re telling me you never sit on your sofa in front of the TV and eat Oreo cookies?”

“No.”

“Would you even consider sitting at your breakfast nook table with me and dunking a few Oreos in milk?”

“Dave, this conversation is pointless. I stopped eating those things when I was a kid and even then, I would never dunk a cookie in milk!”

“This is the basis for the Oreo Cookie Pretentiousness Test. If he, or she, thinks dunking Oreo cookies is childish, or does not have the desire to twist the two sides apart and saver the cream filling like it was gold, be forewarned! As for Mandy, I understood her problem, dunking cookies might endanger her jewelry, and definitely her nails.”

(Through a Stranger’s Eyes is a work of fiction copyrighted by Steven S. Walsky, 2005.)

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Liberty Town (poem, repost)

Liberty Town

It hung on a wall at Liberty Town,
a painting,
like a thespian holding sway.
In a space, yet so small,
the artist had so much to say.
The pigments of her dreams, life, fantasies
danced across the canvas,
enticing my eyes
to follow the progression of color.
An oscillating pitch of senses,
all calling to me;
and in the light cast by the canvas
I read far more.
For each project is a love affair
between the artist and her creation.
And like love itself,
a piece of art can be a most treasured gift
to last a thousand years,
or easily destroyed by the water of tears.

(Liberty Town, © Steven S. Walsky, 2009, all rights reserved.)

The inspiration for this poem was a painting hanging on the wall at the  Liberty Town Arts Workshop in Fredericksburg, VA in 2009.  As I am about to move, and will no longer be able to visit Liberty Town and the other wonderful art galleries in Fredericksburg, I am reposting this poem.